Coping with Rejection

In this industry rejection can make you, break you or hold you back especially when starting out in the industry.  I remember that pivotal moment I decided ‘I’m going to be an actor!’ and without realising it I was off on an emotional roller-coaster ride.  It was the most exhilarating feeling but at the same time I was extremely anxious as fear grappled beneath the surface.  I had so many inner personal reservations about myself it transpired into my training and auditions. Each rejection or critical observation towards my abilities or lack thereof, my reservations and self-doubt grew stronger.  You see rejection and I have known each other since early childhood.  When I was of the tender age of 7 my nature was that of compassion and sympathy towards others and I guess in hindsight was probably why I was such an easy target.  You could crush me with one word - assuming I knew what it meant.  So I’m at school and its morning break.  I’m in the cloak room getting my morning tea from my little school bag.  Two Griffins Krispie biscuits and an apple.  Yum my favourite.  And then he walked in, one of the cutest boys in my class.  We were all alone.  I plucked up the courage and asked him what he had for morning tea.  ‘What you got?’ he asked in a really rough voice.  I got a little scared but managed to say in my small voice ‘Two Krispie bickies and a apple’.  He looked at me with a little grin and said ‘I got a vegemite sandwich; you wanna swap?’  I got butterflies in my stomach I just couldn’t believe it we were having a conversation.  Wow! ‘Okay’ I said ‘Vegemite sandwiches are my favourite!’  Not even, but at that moment I didn’t care.  We swapped snacks and as he walked away he said ‘Hey!  You know you’re hideous right?’  I said in my sweetest girly voice ‘Do you really think so?’ ‘Yeap’ he said.  That day was the happiest day of my 7 years on this planet.  I just couldn’t believe it and I couldn’t stop smiling – the whole day.  When I got home I was still beaming as I caught my mother’s attention and she couldn’t help but ask why I was so happy.  To my mother word for word I shared my story.  When I finished she tilted her head to the side and frowned. ‘Bub do you know what hideous means?’  ‘Oh yes mummy it means I’m preeeetty’ was my reply.  She paused and tilted her head the other way.  ‘No baby, I’m sorry but it means you’re ugly.’  Crushed.  Rejected.  Rejected.  I died a painful death and cried my little heart out. What an idiot and I gave him my Krispie bickies.   This experience has haunted me most of my life and believe you me it wasn’t the last experience of rejection I would endure. Since embarking on this journey of being an actor I discovered that rejection was keeping me down.  Rejection got a hold of me and without realising it I drew that energy towards me and I wrapped myself in it.  With all the self-pity and self-doubt I willed myself to deserve rejection.  Well guess what… there is no room for feeling rejection if you want to be an actor.  It’s out of your hands, we can only do the best that we can possibly do or be.  We are not responsible for how someone else thinks so we must accept the results, learn from them and then build from there.  I have learnt so much on my journey to being an actor.  I never for a moment thought that when I decided to be one that it would literally change my life.  Don’t let rejection control you or hinder your acting progress.  Today I can stand in the mirror and say to myself ‘You are beautiful and you know it, hell you’re stunning!  ……………..Okay that’s a lie, but I’m most definitely working on it.